Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Day 4 : The bitchy day

Why Me GOD? Why Me?

I know I am not a teenager and I shouldn't care about what people will say or be embarrassed about who I am. I have studied well, I had an amazing job and now again studying in India's top management institute and working on my passion. But still I feel belittled when people laugh at me for being fat or feel embarrassed when gym instructor calls out my name(to inquire about my presence). I still feel like a plump kid who is made fun of by little monsters in the playground. I still feel that there is some internal joke of which I am butt of.
Had I been a teenager I would have cried but now I just respond by being equally savage and ruthless. I bitch about my life, I taunt people who make fun of me and shout at people whom I really care about.And on top of it I cant eat any comfort food like chocolates. I realize that it is kind of bad for health to fill up your insecurities but its so easy and comforting. The smooth melt of chocolate and caramel is electric; instantly all is well in the world again. And the vicious circle continues.

But this time it changes. I CHANGE.
If people make fun or laugh or say thingsabout me, I would try my level best to move on.........

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12 comments:

  1. Magical Mystical TeacherJanuary 7, 2015 at 9:07 AM

    Trying one's level best to move on is half the battle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A Word In My HeadJanuary 7, 2015 at 10:18 AM

      I know its easier said then done... but that is the only way I will be at peace :)

      Delete
  2. Sheilagh LeeJanuary 7, 2015 at 9:23 AM

    moving on and tuning out the bullies is helpful to one's soul

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  3. Jae RoseJanuary 7, 2015 at 10:29 AM

    Rise above! Hard to do and sometimes a little biting back never hurts ;)

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  4. BerowneJanuary 7, 2015 at 12:25 PM

    A finely-etched piece of reality. And rather moving.

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  5. RNSANEJanuary 7, 2015 at 4:59 PM

    Having spent fifteen months of the last three years in India, I'd forego chocolate any day for the wondrous food of your country which I love second only to my own.

    I thoroughly enjoyed your writing but realize how difficult it is to endure the cruel comments of others, especially children. Good that you are aware of your tremendous accomplishments.

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    Replies
    1. A Word In My HeadJanuary 8, 2015 at 5:53 AM

      Thanks RNSANE for the encouragement. And you were forensic nurse... WoW!!! Is it as interesting as it is shown in American TV series???

      Delete
  6. Alice AudreyJanuary 7, 2015 at 7:22 PM

    We all feel that way now and then.

    Great use of the 3 words.

    ReplyDelete

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